


You'll Be Okay (in the end)

by WritingYay



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Funerals, Good Friends, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Other, alcohol mention, cuteness, major feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingYay/pseuds/WritingYay
Summary: "I just thought you should know that we're producing a limited edition vintage Scotch in his memory." Ginger- no, Whisky- informed him when he flew across a few weeks later. "It's called Merlin's Country Roads."Eggsy froze for a moment before laughing briefly in spite of himself. "Oh sweetheart." He gulped and gave her a much needed cuddle. "That's just what we need, thank you."Ginger handed him a tissue with a soft smile as he laughed again and wiped away the tears already cascading down his cheeks. With a sniff, he pocketed the tissue and leant back in his chair to survey the Kentucky skyline.





	You'll Be Okay (in the end)

Eggsy and emotions were conflicting forces of nature; notoriously smacked into each other at the wrong times. He'd been warned countless times to maintain his stoic exterior and only 'shed a tear in private'- as Merlin used to say.

"Pull yourself together Galahad. I mean it!" 

Roxy's death hadn't exactly been shits and giggles, but Eggsy was in the middle of saving the world at that point and didn't really allow himself to feel anything until the funeral. Which, he decided, had turned out to be one of the worst days of his goddamn life- along with Harry dying the first time.

The man himself and Merlin, his ever present second and third hearts, sat on either side of him like barricades and gently guided him through that excruciating hour. Roxy's girlfriend Zara had done her eulogy and she got through it with a whole box of Kleenex and very little eye contact. Eggsy had been asked to say something as her best friend but courteously declined; not trusting himself to last those few minutes without bursting. They'd sang Roxy's favourite hymns from her old Catholic school (which Eggsy happened to know she'd loathed with a passion) followed by a long ass sermon about Heaven before they all escaped the Church breathless and followed her coffin down the windy steps of Hell to the graveyard. When his chest had constricted suddenly as her body was lowered into the grave, Merlin slipped his fingers past his sleeve to entwine their fingers. When he couldn't say any of the last prayers in case everything broke, Harry carefully cupped his back with his palm.

When Eggsy had finally broken down in Harry's office a few hours later, they both allowed themselves to let go with him until they found themselves sat on the floor much later holding each other like their lives depended on it. Looking back, ironically, they probably did.

So if Roxy's funeral was a nightmare, Merlin's was indescribable pain in the form of time and service sheets.

-

The pew was vibrating. 

Eggsy didn't want to look to the right of him, he really didn't. He was terrified about what he'd find, and the worst person for comforting duty is somebody who can't keep it together themselves. His eyes flickered across from the beautiful oak casket in front of them, to the shuddering man sat beside him.

Harry's eyes were squeezed shut and his whole body was shaking violently like a fever. Matching Eggsy's own face, his eye area was red raw and fragile from impromptu sobbing sessions with dark circles and grey skin. For somebody who very rarely ever lost control, this pathetic mess of a man was enough to make most of Merlin's family keep their distance.

"That's Harry Hart, Merlin's husband. Poor chap." He'd heard a few of them say before it started; Scottish brogues sending accents spinning off of every vowel. "Next to him is his protégé they say: poor lad looks a sight doesn't he? He's not slept. Neither of them have." 

It made him angry. He wasn't an experiment for fucks sake. A man he loved was lying cold in a burial cot two feet from his shoes. Another other man he loved was milliseconds from imploding and Eggsy wasn't sure he could hug Harry and sing Merlin's favourites simultaneously. If Roxy had been there, she would've known what to do. This sent an unwelcome pang of fire through his chest and he gasped involuntarily.

"Sorry." He muttered to a stony faced lady he'd made jump sat on his other side. She just slightly raised an eyebrow and turned her attention back to the front. The worst thing about it though- the bit that made his eyes sting- was that Harry was looking at him with such undeniable pity and understanding that he nearly bolted up to throw himself alongside Merlin six feet underground.

-

[A week later]

"He should come here." Tilde murmured on the brink of sleep exactly a week after that damn funeral, one arm snugly wrapped around Eggsy's waist and the other curled up protectively against her chin.

"Huh?" 

Eggsy was wide awake, images and replays of Harry running through his mind like a silent film. Had he really looked convincing when he said he would be okay at home? Had his eyes lingered longer than normal around his office? Was there enough conviction in his voice for Eggsy to trust him to still be here tomorrow morning?

"You're not sleeping without knowing he's alright." His girlfriend accused and even though her eyes were closed, Eggsy felt like he was being glared at through the dark. "We've got enough room here for most of the agents, might as well do something with it, no? That way we can look after him and he won't be as lonely in his grief. Support networks and all that?"

He contemplated this for a further two minutes before coming to the conclusion that yes, having Harry would be no trouble and that no, he couldn't bare to think of the man on his own. So, with his mind made up and fresh sheets on the spare bed, Eggsy cornered the older agent outside his office the following day with a plan.

"It's non-negotiable, guv." Eggsy told him firmly when Harry tried to protest. "You're coming to stay with me and Tilde until you can look after yourself again." He'd just got a deathly glare and tense sigh in reply, but regardless of the reaction, Harry was there outside their house when Eggsy had told him to be.

"Let me take this." Tilde whispered once they'd coaxed him inside and removed his bag from his cast iron grasp. "I'll put it in your room, it's the one next to ours." Then she kissed him on the cheek as Harry surveyed their hallway with a glint of failure in his eyes.

"This way, bruv." Eggsy clapped him on the back and showed him through to the living room.

"Where should I sit?"

"Anywhere." It was unnerving to see Harry acting so professionally; perfect posture with his hands twisted behind his back like a sheepish schoolboy. He perched on one of the plush sofas looking like he was visiting the Queen. With a sigh, Eggsy sat next to him and slung an arm round his shoulders.

"Relax." Eggsy whispered into his ear as his hand made soothing rubbing motions down Harry's shaking back. "You'll be alright."

"I fucking hope so." Harry muttered and closed his eyes with a snap. "Every time I close them I can hear his voice." 

Silence fell on them. Eggsy could tell from the lack of movement upstairs that his girlfriend was listening in.

Harry licked his lips. "Which is fine; I'll just take sleeping pills until I don't dream anymore." The younger agent bit his tongue, knowing that telling the fractured man how dangerous that could be probably wouldn't be appreciated. "But what's worse, what's worse-"

Words failed him until: "What's worse, is you, Eggsy." 

He blinked. "Come again?" Harry hesitated before opening his eyes and turning to Eggsy with a sheen of nothing shining deep behind his eyelids. 

"I can't look at you." Harry muttered, his voice hoarse. "Because whenever I look at you, I see him. I see so much of Merlin- my love- in you and it hurts beyond belief. I don't want to hate you, but you're here and he's not. So no, I don't think I'll be okay. But thanks for the encouragement." 

-

"I just thought you should know that we're producing a limited edition vintage Scotch in his memory." Ginger- no, Whisky- informed him when he flew across a few weeks later. "It's called Merlin's Country Roads." 

Eggsy froze for a moment before laughing briefly in spite of himself. "Oh sweetheart." He gulped and gave her a much needed cuddle. "That's just what we need, thank you." 

Ginger handed him a tissue with a soft smile as he laughed again and wiped away the tears already cascading down his cheeks. With a sniff, he pocketed the tissue and leant back in his chair to survey the Kentucky skyline.

"Fuck me." Slipped from his mouth. "I miss the selfless bastard so damn much. Every day I wish he'd have taken us with him. Is that bad?" 

Eggsy doesn't look at Ginger when she replies. "No." Her voice is gentle and slow, just like his Mum's when she's putting his sister to bed. "I think you missing him is the only reaction. You're not a pig. You're grieving, and god knows you need to do that." 

Silence.

"How's Harry?" 

Air whistled between his teeth as he tilted his head to stare at the ceiling. 

"Shite." 

Ginger accepted this and reached out to squeeze his hand. "You'll be okay. Maybe not now or next week or next month, but you will be. Both of you."

Eggsy smirked, the reassurance reminding him of some of Merlin's advice from the old days. "Yeah. I hope so." 

The Statesman agent grabbed something across the desk. It was a bottle, filled with dark golden liquid and a smart navy label. The bottle was mostly sleek with defined curves but a sense of ruggedness too. Ah, him in a bottle.

Ginger unscrewed the cap and poured a bit into two tumbler glasses. She raised one and handed the other to the younger man.

"To Merlin. Let he rest in peace and his spirit stay alive with all Kingsman Agents to come." 

A smile tugged on the corner of his lips. Eggsy gestured with his glass, the Scotch looking perfect in the lights. 

"Merlin. We love you."

He knocked the alcohol back in one before placing the glass back on the table. It slightly burned on the way down but settled in his chest- a warm cloud enveloping his body. Merlin would've knocked it back as well and then sighed with a raspy breath before analysing the glass even though it was empty as if he was hoping some more would magically reappear. Then Eggsy would've rolled his eyes when he said the same thing he always said after Scotch: "Bloody hell, the stuff really takes the hair off yer chest, ey lad?" 

Ignoring the fact that his chest was tight again, Eggsy smiled when Ginger placed her small hand over his and squeezed. Merlin was gone, but he was never too far away in his heart and mind. As fucking cringe that sounded, the young agent knew it was true.

Merlin's voice rang loud and clear in his head.

"Chin up Galahad you soft bastard. You've got the world to save."

**Author's Note:**

> Kingsman 2 actually killed me. I am deceased. Merlin's death just... wow. And that song?!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this even though it was sad and angsty. I also hope that you are doing well whoever you are! Hello to the Kingsman fandom, this is my first Kingsman fic which is exciting!
> 
> On another note, one of my fics for the Emmerdale fandom that is in progress will be updated soon! Sorry for the long delay (if you don't know what I'm talking about then ignore!)
> 
> Anyways, hugs! :)


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